***How to prepare for a New Puppy*** 

*Pour cold apple juice on the carpet in several places and walk around barefoot in the dark.

*Wear a sock to work that has had the toes shredded by a blender.

*Immediately upon waking, stand outside in the rain and dark saying, "Be a good puppy and go potty! Hurry up now! Come on, let's go! Please??"

*Cover all your best suits with dog hair.  Dark suits must have white and light suits must have dark.  Also float some hair in your first cup of morning coffee.

*Play catch with a wet tennis ball.

*Run out in the snow in your bare feet to close the gate.

*Tip over a basket of clean laundry, scatter clothing all over the floor.

*Leave your underware on the living room floor, because that is where your puppy will drag it anyway (especially when you have company).

*Jump out of your chair shortly before the end of your favorite TV show and run to the door shouting, "NO NO! Do that OUTSIDE!"....miss the end of the program.

*Gouge the leg of the dining room table several times with a screwdriver.

*Put chocolate pudding om the carpet in the morning, and do not try to pick it up until you return from work that evening.

*Take a warm, cuddly blanket out of the dyer and immediately wrap it around yourself.  This is the feeling you get when your puppy falls asleep on your lap......